Family weekend

 This past weekend was a remarkable adventure. I welcomed into my house my boyfriend and my future stepson, for the first time as a pair. Our blended family made for a good combination.  I wasn't surprised that my children were so welcoming to them, because that's just who they are. We talked, we ate, we played, we fished, we canoed down the Merrimack, we took the boys for a play date at the trampoline park, they played video games, and many other things.

I am exhausted but I have a clearer idea of how things could be one day. Not perfect, nor average, just right for us.

  For years I wanted to have a relationship with a guy that either had no children or they were gown up and gone. Being a stepmother is a huge responsibility as there is such a fine line to walk that it scared me to death. In other words I never thought I could fill the shoes of another mother.  This weekend I was tested, and I realized that I don't have to fill anyone's shoes, because I could just wear my own. I don't have to be a mom, or even a step mom,  I just need to be me and allow the relationship to flow naturally without the need for labels. Having this 12 year old around was actually enjoyable. I felt like I gave birth again  bypassing the infancy, toddler and preschool period which is wonderful.

I spend time listening to what they had to say. My son and him teaching us about what they thought is wrong in USA, and the world. They talked about politics, abortion, gays and lesbians, religion and bullying, among other topics. Its unbelievable the things you can hear when you actually listen respectfully to someone else's opinion despite their age and life experiences.

Cooking and enjoying every meal in our deck was glorious and I can get used to that. During that weekend we all became one...not one person, but one family and it felt great. We erased the lines of race, stereotypes and culture and drew a new picture in which none of those lines were necessary. 

Now if I could only stop my boyfriend from leaving things behind every time he comes.  Every time I see a bottle of shampoo, deodorant, clothes or other personal items I get freaked out. Being a wife is exhausting and I guess I have some work to do before I get there, so he needs to stop the madness. I have to start with baby steps...