Living life

I haven't write in a while as I have been enjoying life so much that my Internet time has been limited. My life has changed dramatically since I met a guy that swept me off my feet like a tsunami hits the shore...unexpectedly and forcefully.

I have to say that when I met this person and our eyes locked for the first time, it was like if I had met his soul before, and I was able to recognize it through those green piercing eyes. It felt like a re-encounter and not a first meeting. What a moment that was!

I remember how many times my patients used to tell me they were praying for me so I could find a good boyfriend, and my response was always the same: 'love will find me, when the time is right, even if it is in a Market Basket aisle'...and it did...when I was ready to enjoy it...when my heart was healed from old wounds...when I didn't need someone...when I had let go of the past...when I felt hopeful...when I felt complete...when I stop being afraid...when I felt realized as a woman...when my heart was open not only to give love but to receive it.

I was amazed at the first time he walked me outside in the middle of the darkness so I can take a look at a beautiful sky filled with thousands of sparkling stars...or when I was awakened in the middle of the night so I could enjoy a beautiful full moon...or when he took me fishing and I caught my first trout...or when he took me to the magical place in which I was surrounded by wild deer that ate from my hands...or when we went canoeing in an area with views that took my breath away...

I don't think I was enjoying life like that before. I was cautious and limited myself from unknown experiences. By opening my heart to those small moments I made a collection of wonderful memories that continues to impact my life and has pushed me into the next level.

For many years and as a single parent I wasn't living in the "now", but in the past or the future. The laundry, the grocery list, what am I cooking tonight?, and all those things that rented space in  my head were preventing me from being present at all times. Oh, how many moments I missed forever.

Last night, as I was having dinner by myself at Panera's I couldn't stop looking at a family of three sitting across from me...a dad and two children either preteens or early teenagers. They didn't look or talk to each other. Each one had their eyes locked into their mobile devices for the whole time they were there. It was sad, and I thought to myself that was me a few months ago. At that moment I put my phone away where I couldn't hear it and enjoyed myself...I decided to live that moment.

Are you living and enjoying life to the fullest? Living in the now is a choice and its worth giving it a try. "The present is all we actually have" and we should treat it as a gift. There is such beauty in being present in every moment of your life, not like an spectator but as an active participant. Think of life like a exquisite dessert that needs to be savor. But like any behavioral changes, this takes practice and there is a constant battle because as good human beings we tend to revisit the past and go back to old behavioral patterns. We find comfort in never throwing away the keys. It takes a conscious effort but the end is like Nirvana.

Like Eckhart Tolle said "Accept- then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life". (The Power of Now, pp.35).

Have a rich life so at the end of the road they will be no regrets, but great pleasure in the experiences you were able to enjoy. We should be able to say 'I am not afraid of dying because I lived". Not many will be able to say that.