Leaving a mark

I visited memory lane recently as I came across some pictures from the mass blessing my nursing degree and the graduating class of December 1991. I am not Catholic, but I was blessed with a great education at the Pontifical Catholic University of Puerto Rico in where I obtained my undergraduate nursing degree.

Those pictures triggered wonderful memories of all the people I encountered in the school that touched me and left a profound mark. I realized I never had the chance to thank them. Many of their names were lost in the imperfect labyrinth of my memory, but their legacy was indelibly imprinted in my life.

I remember a special priest that taught the anatomy and physiology class. He belonged to an order who declared a vow of poverty. He always had holes on his pants and his shirts, and his shoes were worn until the sole fell apart. He was from Spain and we had become his adoptive family. Despite his appearance the clarity of his soul peak through, and I was able to be touched by its richness. He taught me that they were so many things that a degree wasn't going to provide me, and that I needed to stay grounded so I did what was right despite the sacrifices and the circumstances. I learned from him that de-cluttering your life from the useless made room for the useful. I was only 19 when I met him and never forgot him.

On the other hand I had a nursing professor that was as challenging as could be. She taught the medical- surgical course part 1 and 2. She made the easiest things difficult. At times I felt like she was displacing her frustration at us, and we were paying for whoever hurt her before. I guess I was a psych nurse from the get go. :)  She gave me unnecessary stress, and that became my motivation to prove to her that I had what was necessary to become a great nurse. Trying to survive the extensive amount of reading from an English nursing book, I developed a discipline of study that has helped throughout my life, and developed coping skills that at times surprise me, and I have to thank Ms. Maldonado for that.

During my psych rotation I met another nursing professor - Ms. Montalvo - who was as calm as a summer breeze, even in the worse circumstances. She was a quiet woman, but her behavior spoke loud and clear. From her I learned to trust my instincts and abilities, not to second guessed what I thought was right and to learn to stand by my beliefs. She told me once..."you are a natural...you should consider a career in mental health." I am glad she help me find my true calling, by teaching me the beauty of working with these population even in the worse circumstances. 

One time I was talking to my friend Sylvia, and she said: "what's the point of passing by if you don't leave a mark?" ...and she was absolutely right. I constantly ask myself: what is the mark that I am leaving? ...in my children? ...in my work? ...in my community? ...in my personal life? How will people remember when I am not around?

I just hope that I am leaving a positive mark. I love others to remember me by my love for life, my positive attitude, my love for education, and my idea that there is good in all humans. Also by my belief that nothing comes easy, but the most difficult things in life are the most rewarding ones, that you can't stop giving because others think  your gift isn't good enough, that it's worth fighting for your dreams because they do come true, that you have to love yourself to believe that you deserve goodness and lastly by my faith and how I honor the Superior Being because without Him nothing is possible....

During our mass the priest read a quote from St. Francis of Assisi that said "Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words."

Let's lead by example, as our behavior is louder than our words. We may never know the extent of the souls we touched,  and the impact we may unraveled  with our actions, but the effort its worth it. Let's do what's right and pretty soon you will realize that others will follow.