Can we just get along?

Before you start reading, I have to say that I am not attacking anyone in particular based on their political choices, as I am respectful of our differences. I recognize people's right to protest, but I wish we exert that right in a way that shows our objectivity and our ability to think critically and rationally. 

I have been fascinated with the election process 2016, but more so with the reactions of many people I know (or I thought I did) as they express themselves in social media. I have never been comfortable discussing my political views, as this is a topic that is usually charged with emotions, and because of this, I shy away from public discussions. Today, I will change that by sharing my opinion. I am neither Republican or Democrat. Some years I had voted for a Republican candidate and others I had voted for Democratic one. It all depends on their political agenda or plan of action.  In this election I didn't vote for Donald Trump, and I did vote for Hillary Clinton. I didn't like Mrs. Clinton but I couldn't vote for a man who I have observed being so disrespectful to women and minorities. I hope that when we get a female president it will be a woman with character and we have many like that.

To start, I have to say that I am dating a Republican who voted for Donald Trump, and to top it all he is White. Two characteristics that place him in a "bad group" these days. I have to say that he is not a racist, a White supremacist, or a xenophobe.  What was my reaction when my boyfriend stated who he voted for? None. Despite our political disagreements I have to respect that his opinion doesn't have to mirror mine, and I have to be respectful, as I expect him to be of my opinions. I don't love him less than I did before, nor I lost respect for him.

I have been horrified with the stance some have taken against people they called friends or family, just because they voted for the opposite party. People have labeled others as racist, evil, ignorant, stupid, xenophobics, homophobics, bad Christians and other adjectives that I can't recall at this moment. When they got bored with Trump, they move to attack Melania,  degrading her by bringing naked pictures from her past and humiliating postings.  What happened with the voice of democracy? Do we only want to hear it when it speaks our language? Are we only respectful of people that agree with us? Are our friends only good people when they agree with our political views? Do we fight division with divisive words?

We need to remember that our rights don't have political parties. We need to be mindful of how we express our opinion, as the tone we use may close doors instead of opening a dialogue. I am flabbergasted on how quick people that support women rights show their disapproval of other women by exposing their flaws, making them look foolish and less than human in the public eye. Does that makes us better?  Does our support for women rights end at the end of our political party fence?

It is interesting to see how many recite the Bible to attack the ones that oppose their views. I am no religious leader, but isn't that the same Bible that says "love thy neighbor as yourself"?

I am respectful of the democratic process, and I am as concern with the future of this country as I was after previous elections. There is always a level of uncertainty after an electoral process.

I love my friends and family and I apologize if I have made any comments that had shown otherwise. The differences in our opinions make our relationships richer. My opinion of you is based on your character and not on the way you voted. 

Let's behave like adults and not like bullies in the playground. No matter what party you belong to, we all want our country to be strong and united. Lets do our part...change starts with each one of us. It's great to live in a country in where we could choose our leaders. Let's be respectful of the process and our loved ones...we cannot get what we don't give. 

A Purposeful Journey

      Today,  I learned a life lesson and I was humbled by a series of events that made this day so remarkably emotional and inspiring. As a nurse, I always try to look for ways to reduce human  suffering and improve the quality of life of others. God has blessed me beyond my expectations! My greatest blessing isn't material, and it is the wonderful group of people that surrounds me and are always ready to open their hearts to the needs of others...their kindness helped lift the spirits of many today, by showing them that they are not forgotten. I am honored to have been able to represent the many people that donated to this cause. About 2 months ago I decided to start the Blessing Bags for the Homeless Drive. I am a dreamer, and I like to dream big, but in many occasions my dreams are bigger than my resources, so I ask for help and people's generosity always amazes me and exceeds my expectations. I wanted to reach the goal of 100 bags collected and our total today was 102. I couldn't have done it without all of you.

       October 10th is the day that I selected to give away the wonderful collection of items obtained. My first stop was an outreach effort made with the help of my uncle, Pastor Jerry Robles, my aunt Ligia Vazquez and one of their church members -Virginia. We visited the camps under the bridge and near the dam in Lawrence. My heart broke when I saw the conditions many people live in. No video or report could have prepared to what I saw.  Despite the fact that I am not able to relate to homelessness as I have never lived through it,  I was able to empathize. Their survival spirit inspired me and made realize that I don't do enough. Their resourcefulness motivated me to be more active in the community and spark in others the desire to help by leading with example. I was able to relate with the fact that these were my people, mostly young Puerto Rican men that sometimes have no voice and are invisible to society. Their faces showed despair, pain, but also love and hope.  I will never forget their gratitude and humility. They were knocked down but no broken.

       I also visited the Daybreak Shelter and reunited with their assistant director- Greg, which is someone I know from the past, someone I know leads by example. They received the biggest portion of the donation- 5 boxes of prefilled bags. I was given a tour of the shelter and we talked about their daily routines, and the success stories. Their need is huge and I can only hope that our efforts will help  ease their burden.

Through this journey I also learned that not everyone is comfortable helping, that some have forgotten they have been blessed and have grown blind to the need of others. Some people said they "don't give because they don't have", and I will tell them that is the opposite; they don't have because they don't give.  No judgement, as their attitude was never an obstacle, but a motivator.

It's not my place to judge or even understand homelessness and its complexities. My job as a nurse is to meet them where they are, and attempt to alleviate their struggle...to remember that they are someone's children, someone's parent, someone's sibling... that they are human, just like me who have taken a different path in life.

Your generosity helped many. I am sharing some pictures, but not of the homeless victims because I want to respect their privacy...I hope you are proud of what you have done. I am proud of all of you, together we can make a difference.

 Today, I reaffirmed that my purpose in life is to give to others what God has given me by His grace, and to never allow the crazyness of life to blind, or deafen me from the pain around me. I encourage you to find your purpose, as the life journey isn't meaningful without it. A  purposeless life is like an empty treasure box.

I am going to close this entry with a quote from Danzel Washington that says "At the end of the day its not about what you have or even what you have accomplished...its about who you've lifted up, who you've made better. Its about what you've given back".

I surrender

Everyone that knows me is aware that Paulo Coelho is my favorite author.  Today, I came across a quote from a wonderful book he wrote and that I read a few years back - Aleph: "What hurts us is what heals us."

This quote made me reflect on my life journey since I left my marriage in 2007. Since then (not that I wasn't before), I have been deceived, lied to, used, broken, repaired, loved, unloved, appreciated, and unappreciated. Attempts were made to mold me, perhaps tame me, made me someone I wasn't. At the end I was "abandoned" by the men that swore they loved me. I say abandoned because I feel they checked out emotionally before I decided to part. This resulted in one main feeling, that despite having only four letters (guys not that four letter word) encompasses all of the above....HURT. 

Hurt has different layers, different levels and even different phases. Because of hurt I thought about quitting relationships all together....or becoming a lesbian. I later realized that you can't become a lesbian, you either are or not...and I am not. I have never quit at anything I had put my heart into. Just thinking about quitting made me want to explore the "why?"  It's is interesting how easy we could give so much power to others, and make them directors of our path. How come I allowed others to make me second guess my life journey? 

After I have explore my feelings  I realized that they brought consequences and as a result I had built a wall for my protection, or maybe more like a room with padded walls. I could even picture it in my head . In that room I felt safe. The walls of the room were built from blocks of fear. I can break it down  in some major categories; fear of more hurt, of being vulnerable, of being exposed, of feeling unloved, abandoned, of feeling like I wasn't enough. Intellectually I knew I was enough, I knew I was lovable, but feelings unlike intellect get easily contaminated by those variables that we can't control. 

When I started my journey in E-Harmony I was attempting to break those fears and as a result break   down that padded wall room. I went in two dates (the second was already scheduled before I went on the first one and I felt bad cancelling)....but that first date was so unbelievable that I couldn't enjoy that second date. That guy had no chance. That's not a bad thing as dating could be exhausting. I guess   "I opened the window and heart. The sun flooded my room and love inundated my soul". That quote sums it all. Like hurt, love has many levels...and I am ready to continue the wonderful journey of exploration and demolition of my padded room. 

Life is quite a journey and what's a journey without pain and sorrow? The lows in life will help us appreciate the highs, and those highs will keep us hoping  when we are low. I am thankful for the ones before because the pain they caused me  prepared me for what I am enjoying today. I am thankful for the vacancy they left.  I have no other choice that to surrender  to love...to be touch by its healing power. Not sure where this journey will lead but I am planning to enjoy the journey, and about the destination? ...I will worry about it  when I get there. 

Moving on...once more

I guess I am on the road of single-hood once more. Good thing I like myself, otherwise I will go crazy. Not a bad road to travel, but sometimes it could get intense, frustrating and exhausting. It could be emotionally draining and never a friend to the ego.


On January 18, I ended a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man. A man that gave me many moments of happiness and adventure. A man that showed me life from a different perspective. A man that pushed me out of my comfort zone. A man that forever will be in my heart.

Why did I leave, despite loving him? That's a great question, and while I was exploring that question I found this quote on Pinterest, and I had to make it my own as it totally reflects my reasons for leaving:

               

"Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready.They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never have to inspire anyone  to meet you on the bridge. You never, ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen out there in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will  be ready." 

                                         Nayyirah Waheed   

Am I sad? Sadness do not get to measure the depth of the pain of losing someone you love. I was heartbroken or maybe I was totally broken, but life has taught me that you have to shake the dust off you, get up and move forward. I am worth of love and whoever is for me is out there, somewhere. This time I am not going to sit around waiting for Mr. Right, I am going to put myself out there and look for him, and enjoy the search like I have all the time in the world. I only live once and I am blessed with having a wonderful life, that now I am ready to share.

Yesterday I signed up for a membership in a dating website. I am sure this will be an adventure of its own. I hope to make the best of this experience, and will try to keep my paranoia about meeting a sociopath at bay.

Why do  I share my story? ....because as Maya Angelou said: "there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."  Now that I have lighten my load,  my journey will be easier or so I think.